The Abbreviating Species

Abbreviating names is a common phenomenon here for certain species; 'paeri'(phonetically written) for Parminder, 'faeti' for Fatinder,'saeti' for Satinder and so on. These 'abbreviators' never fail to amaze anyone with their concern for India. But when you ask them (ços you do not understand their abbreviations), "Are you an Indian?", their instant reply is: "I am not, my parents are." Then their names strike you as familiar.

Did you know India is backward in the way it treats its women, its various castes and religions? Of course not, you have to know it from these species! They are appalled when you say we communicate with most of our friends in English, pitying that we are losing our culture. Little do they know of your British ancestors. Well, totally identifying with their concern, you empathise with them. But didn't they tell you sometime back that they are not Indian? Nevermind, you tend to forget that because they are really so concerned about your homeland, oh no, 'our' they say.

Then you suddenly observe that these species are always out with their make-up on, just like all the Americans you see. Then they praise America's penchant for equality. "Really?" You wonder, "Is that why women here are forced to look and behave like women? I never had to do all this back in India. When was the last time I said "wow" with an extended "ow" when I was seductively touching my neck?" Never. You won't even remember having guy friends who are your friends only because they intend dating you some day. So who is forced to perform roles, people here or people from India? When this knowledge strikes you, you smile at your new-found friend 'Paeri'. You observe how much she emphasises on the pronunciation of her name, on her nail paint, on her hair, on her clothes etc. She is always an 'American' but when it comes to taking credit for being from a different culture, she is the first one to do so, not you.

She is always 'politically correct'. Only you know the culture she represents and the culture she adopts, but because she is one of the 'Americans' too, her voice is louder than yours. You just stand and watch, till she fumbles with Indian politics and then you take-over, till everyone looks at her claims with amazement and wonders, "How could she make such claims, what is wrong with her?"

But now, you must smile at her innocently, like she always does. No, no, it doesn't end with the smile, hug her tight and say "Hey darling! thanks for talking about India, that was so sweet." And she will smile back, proud of herself!